Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
It is hard to feel happy for others when your own happiness has fallen short. It is hard to smile when there are shadows in your eyes.
And the tightness in the chest and soul when you have to is almost unbearable - it is like your heart being pickled.
But who wants to recount the source of their miseries, their failures? So instead we must smile. Or at least pretend to. Pretend to be happy so others won't ask why, and why, and why. Pretend to be well-adjusted - so you don't have to face all that why, and why, and why.
All that incessant psychiatry, of trying to help. Of trying to be nice. Who on earth is happy with just nice. Try to understand without asking. To not make a big deal out of it. To look closely and see what is needed.
Let me let it go. Don't stick your finger in the wound to see how far it goes.
ME signed off at 3:35 AM
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
81st entry
When you cross over to take a peek at the other side of the fence, you finally realize that your backyard is all the space you'd ever want in your life.
